It’s not a secret that there are many people within the trans* community who shame femme trans boys. There have even been communities on Tumblr who have said they don’t want to post femme trans boys on their pages just because they’re femme and they don’t want to be associated with that.
I have something to say about all of this.
None. Of. This. Is. Okay.
What you’re saying when you tell a trans guy he can’t or shouldn’t be femme is; “Real men aren’t feminine,” “You’re ruining it for the rest of us,” “People are going to see people like you and think we’re really just girls.” These statements are all extremely rude and extremely WRONG.
When you perpetuate these statements, you are showing that you are transphobic (Yes, trans people can be transphobic). You are paving a path and making it seem like it is okay for other people to say these dangerous things.
In reality, there are millions of different kinds of men. Some of them are feminine. It’s really not going to end the world — I promise. If you are someone who shames femme trans men, you need to take a step back and realize what you are doing. You’re merely enforcing the binary gender system — Now, I don’t think it is a problem if you are binary identified, however, what is a problem is when you start to tell other people that they need to be binary identified as well.
Respect other people’s identities. Be confident in your own identity — why are you so afraid / threatened by the femme trans boys? Is it because we’re challenging society’s perception of what being trans or what being male is “really about?”
Because we are.
I think everyone should live how they want to — just realize that there is so much diversity within (and outside of) the trans* community. We should be celebrating diversity instead of shaming it. We should be working together instead of pushing people away just because they don’t fit what you think is “really trans” or “really male.”
If someone says they’re male, they’re male. If someone says they’re trans, they’re trans. It’s that simple. It makes me so sad to hear stories of other trans people who feel alienated even within the trans* community. This needs to change.
I think this is along with the people who think they have to list stereotypical masculine behaviour they’ve done when growing up and all to prove to themselves and others that they’re male.
If you’re male, then you’re male. Not if you liked the boys toys at McDonalds. Femme boys both trans and not are perfectly fine <3
not to disagree with any of the above, but for some of us in the less-LGBT-aware countries of the world, it’s the only way to be taken seriously by psychiatrists and allowed to transition.
I’m not even that feminine (was wrongly perceived as a lesbian for a large part of my life), but the psychiatrist who assessed me for GID was decidedly unimpressed that I’m attracted exclusively to guys and wasn’t some hypermasculine trans male stereotype (I hate sports, the thought of having IRL sex disturbs me, I have no plans for surgery, etc.) In his report to the doctor, he used female pronouns for me all the way and suggested I get a second opinion because he wasn’t convinced. And he’s one of the foremost trans-specialists in the country.
freedom of gender expression is a privilege in itself.