aaskew42

i feel majorly threatened by misogyny

i feel threatened by misandry, though sometimes i take bitter self-hating delight in it, like a recent exchange with my mother about how men suck which i think i actually initiated because of a thing we heard on the radio

i feel threatened even by just regular, decent feminists who just happen to be very passionate and angry, because certain feminism buzzwords are triggers for me and i really wish it wasn’t so, because nowadays i can’t even browse feminist sites without my pulse racing in anticipation of danger

i feel threatened by christian books like ‘a biblical portrait of marriage’ from 1996 currently sitting next to me on the study table because my parents have been using it for years as a study guide for their pre-marital counselling course in church, and i flipped through and got very disturbed at the condescendingly pleasant misogyny and how it practically paves the way for emotional abuse despite claiming not to, and it prompted this post

and i feel like i should say something about that book to my parents except that those discussions never go well for my mental health and i might cry

which is a big thing because it’s really hard to cry on T.

i’m not actually that upset at the moment (I’m going to watch Community); just kind of sad, but also somewhat hopeful that things will be better in the next generation.

3254) I don’t understand why a lot of ftms choose normal names like ‘alan’ ‘brian’ or ‘Zack’ and spell it like ‘Alynn’ ‘Bryyen’ or ‘Zak’. I’ve gotten too alerted to the odd spelling of names when ftms pick them that when I see an oddly spelled male name I assume they’re ftm. It makes me feel like they’re putting up a sign for themselves without realizing it.

malepronounsplease:

Maybe I should add another x. Hi I’m Maxx. 

…I actually know a trans guy named Maxx. :|

(Source: ftmconfessions)

3265) Any man who can “struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.” I made it through, and I know where my towel is. I think I’ll be okay.

lol this was mine. 8|

(Source: ftmconfessions, via ftmconfessions)

Gender Panic, Gender Grief

queereyes-queerminds:

Murderous depression and being trans sometimes mean waking up crying at 3 AM because you know very well that one of the biggest reasons you started HRT was because the thought of living in that body was unbearable. Blind panic at 3 AM because doesn’t this mean that I’m not going anywhere with purpose, it just means I was distancing myself from the body that made me want to throw up; since I am not happy now, four-ish months into transition, not only not happy but not really less repulsed by my body, what hope is there? I pushed off the docks knowing I couldn’t be happy that way, and sometimes fear that I gave up what little I had for the distant chance of being happy later comes and drowns me. 

While I was crying, I even briefly considered taking a break from HRT, but I KNOW that I can’t be happy like this, and taking time off would only prolong unnecessary pain. 

I can’t even speak. I hope this pain is unnecessary. I hope I am who I am. I hope this moment of suicidality passes.

this too will pass

four months is nothing

you’ve come this far

look to the future, always, even if there’s nothing but the vaguest possibility of happiness

and grab that

and hold on.

transphobes live in a very odd world.

I feel so helpless, sitting here. I don’t know how many signatures that wildly homophobic petition has received so far - it was around 4.8k last night and this morning had broken 6.3k, and it’s increasing, as social media things do. And just… knowing that so many people in my country believe that LGBT people are potential rapists and pedophiles whom “our children and our families” need to be protected from makes me scared to live here. I’m not afraid for my physical safety, because Singapore is at least usually safe, and I’m pretty inconspicuous, but that willful exclusion stings - I’m someone’s child too, and I do have a family -, as is knowing that every stranger who smiles at me might suddenly drop all friendliness and turn hostile if only they knew, or drag their kids away from me.

I wish I could do more without causing further emotional harm to myself, because every time I venture into the fray it leaves me exhausted and with a greatly diminished self-esteem that takes ages to recover from, and my therapist and others have suggested that I don’t place that obligation on myself to be an activist. And I was doing okay with that for a while, but then this issue cropped up again and now it’s all over the place, and it’s had for me to maintain the illusion that the majority of people in my country aren’t disgusted (or worse) by people like me, because people are being really vocal about that, at least online. And it’s hard to just sit here and do nothing.

I wish that there could be less miscommunication and misunderstanding in the world.

I wish that people would be nicer to each other.

I wish we could have peace.

pandabomb:

princekilljoy:

the-animation-alchemist:

• white people are not the bad guys
• Christian people are not the bad guys
• Republicans are not the bad guys
• straight people are not the bad guys
• cisgender people are not the bad guys
• rich people are not the bad guys
• men are not the bad guys
• racist, bigoted, homophobic, ignorant, selfish, and / or rude people are the bad guys

dear social justice bloggers

all right, look:

I’m a pretty fucking privileged person.

but when I hear someone who does not have the same privilege as me—for instance, a person of color—say “ugh WHITE PEOPLE” I don’t get offended. you know why?

because I know it’s not all about me.

I don’t need anyone to put in a disclaimer for me saying “but not all white people are bad” and “it’s just the racist ones, not everyone else!” because when people of color express their frustrations with racial constructions and their cultural environment, I’ve put in enough research and utilized a little empathy to try and see things from their perspective. I understand that “white people” is not “you, specific white person, pale-skinned devil and probably KKK member” but the institution of whiteness and the practices and individuals perpetuating it.

if you need someone to tack on a “but not all of you are like that!!1!!” when talking about privilege and oppression, then you are hijacking the conversation from them and making it not about their frustrations and struggles with a toxic society, but your feelings and fragile understanding of the obstacles that others face.

and seriously, for the last time: it’s not about you. not everything is. you are merely a cog in the larger system, the game of life—the game which is rigged—and you just happen to reap some of the benefits.

ok wait, question: what about in situations when you are part of the minority group in question and still request that fellow members of said minority group tack on the “but not all of them are like that!!!” qualifier when insulting the privileged? Because I seem to do that a lot, and it’s not out of a desire to trivialize frustrations and pain that I experience too, but rather out of a desire for, well, linguistic accuracy and an eradication of generalizations. [/aspie]

kittens for social justice

someone should start a blog called ‘socialjusticekittens’ and post nothing but adorable photos of kittens under social justice tags

so that angry people scrolling through the tags looking for wank will be unexpectedly disarmed by cute
and start smiling instead as they feel quiet, peaceful joy slowly rising within them
and fights will be more easily resolved
and social justice will be achieved without arguments or drama or conflict or cis scum dying
and people will start being excellent to each other
and remember the original purpose of the Internet, i.e. a place to post photos of cats

i think this will help to make the world a nicer place.

unless of course you don’t like kittens. :(

warlocksexalways:

That isn’t what I meant to say, and I apologize if that’s how I worded it. I was trying to list some reasons why it CAN be hard, it wasn’t supposed to be like “this thing ALWAYS makes it hard.” The example I used was a specific one that an autistic person listed elsewhere. And… I’m not really sure what to say about ‘the vast majority of people who don’t bathe’. Because everyone I’ve met in public who seemed like they don’t bathe has been homeless, and that’s my experience. And it’s also my experience with my own life, and a good portion of my mentally ill friends. It’s common enough among mentally ill people that it shows up in diagnostic criteria.

I just don’t find it very useful to say ‘well not ALL disabled people are smelly and gross’ when it would be better if people would be less judgmental and shitty about the hygiene issues. I mean, the former statement is obviously true! But it comes off more like someone is trying to peel off a bullseye target and throw it on someone else, when we should be disarming our opponents. Or in other words, trying to sound like a more acceptable disabled person, when we should be trying to broaden people’s views of what’s acceptable. Does that make sense?

Issues with hygiene are not a universal problem for disabled people, but it’s enough of one for enough of us that it’d be nice if people acknowledged that instead of harping about their right to not smell you or whatever. No one says you can’t be bothered by it, just don’t treat people like shit.

thanks, that’s a bit clearer. I’m going to go off cultural/geographic differences here - I’m in Asia, where personal hygiene is a pretty big thing, and that plus the climate means that I don’t know anyone personally who doesn’t bathe at least once a day, unless they’re being lazy or trying to make some kind of statement. People stink fairly often because of the climate, and these are usually regular people with no difficulty taking a shower. (and even when you are depressed, the amount of stink that would be otherwise generated is usually enough to drive even the most depressed person into the shower.) When others point it out, it’s very often meant as helpful advice rather than insult, and said advice is often taken. If someone told me I stink I’d just go shower a second time, and wouldn’t think of it as body-shaming in any way. The main reason why I don’t regularly shower twice a day is partly laziness and partly not wanting to waste water.

We have close to no homeless people (there’s subsidised government housing available), and while I’m aware that many of them probably don’t get to bathe often, I doubt any decent person would think of insulting them about it because that would be evidently mean. The same would go if they are aware that the person might have some kind of disability, but even then, it would still be meant as helpful advice, and I think that - among people who get criticised for it - the cases of people not showering because of laziness far outnumber those who don’t shower because of invisible disabilities and limitations. I mean, homeless/very poor people usually look that way, and maybe it’s just where I live, but I’ve never seen anyone shout, “hey, you smell!” at a homeless person, and if I did I’m pretty sure most people wouldn’t think too well of them.

and if you can’t shower or have problems doing so because of solid reasons, then if you just said so, most people would accept that and stop criticising you for it. If they don’t, then they’re jerks. But the vast majority of such criticism is given out with the assumption that the target is fully capable of taking a shower, and if someone doesn’t meet that assumption, they’d be excluded. Such that I don’t see how the solution is to stop people from ever criticising someone else’s body odour, because in most cases something can be done about it, and other people’s comfort is important too. I know I wouldn’t want people keeping silent if I smell really bad and am disrupting their peace; I’d much rather they said something, and I think the same is true for most others.

racism against white people

Ok srsly people, the belief that racism against white people doesn’t exist is extremely Western-centric, and completely contrary to my experience living in the tiny Asian country of Singapore where white people are a minority and there is no shortage of anti-white people in power. There are the widespread stereotypes of white people as decadent and lazy and rude and unhygienic, unlike us awesome Asian people. The local slang term for white people literally means ‘red [hair] devil’, though I think it’s no longer meant offensively and it appears to be being reclaimed or something. I’ve seen stallholders charge white people extra and then laugh about it because lol silly white people who fall for anything. I’ve heard countless Asian-supremacist politicians insulting white people on TV. And so on. IT HAPPENS.

I admit it’s been tempered more in recent years, especially among the younger generation, what with globalization and the increased influence of Western media along with all its power dynamics and beauty standards and whatnot. White privilege also does have its impact, particularly in the area of foreign white people being hired over locals, but that appears to be a global complaint when it comes to immigrant workers of any race.

But that doesn’t erase the existence of racism against white people, especially in the many countries in which white people are a minority, and every time I see people making angry SJ posts about how there’s no such thing, I want to shake them and yell “AMERICA ISN’T THE ONLY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD”. Or England, Australia, other Western places, and so on.

do you know what ‘China’ is called in Chinese. zhongguo. Literally, ‘middle kingdom’. Figuratively, ‘TEH CENTRE OF TEH UNIVERSE’. There are loads of Asian-supremacists in the world with lots of anti-white sentiment, and to claim that only white people have a monopoly on the whole supremacist and oppression shtick is, basically, kind of racist in itself.